Simplicity

Tuesday, May 31, 2005
5/31/2005 10:38:00 PM

a sneak review of my past. no, not airing my deepest secrets but more of a review of my life in relation to this journey that i have travelled thus far..

was just packing my A levels stuffs and i couldnt help but to read some of it. may i say this, wad i miss the most is the lit stuff..specifically gothic and kim cheng.. was staring (and shuddered) at the fact dat i wrote so much! and the A grade gothic essay i wrote at leisure for eddie..gosh! and all the rest of the things..

then i came across the note eddie gave me.

well, i almost stop and wanted to cry..i miss school so much! and the lit trip he brought us to..it was magical! wished could go there again..wished everything's back to the same again.. eddie said to search out my journey...well...

this i-miss-college- entries keep coming back again and again..

packed the stuffs so dat in case i need them i can refer to it... esp lit!

so for all u boys and girls, appreciate ur schooling days even though u feel it's a drag or v stressful. the older u grow, the more stressful it would get so pls enjoy ur secondary school days! dont wait till it's over to appreciate it... and enjoy the learning process..

and as i look back my days as an A level student, i reallie thank God for all that He has done for me..things werent easy back then, but God has been faithful, giving me strength to continue, good teachers for help, friends who encouraged me and most of all, the grades. i don't deserve all these but He freely gave to me.Thank You, Lord.

Saturday, May 28, 2005
5/28/2005 01:49:00 PM

i won't mention names to protect the identities of these poeple.

recently someone commented how difficult to adjust to new environment, having a whole new set of people and friends around.

that set me thinking about my life and how it has been so dfferent( and difficult to one extent.)

human beings in generally would resist changes. of course, that also means how much resistence you have inside you. changes for worse or for the better, it would take time to adjust. i remembered 26th nov 2004, 11am. i would never forget that fateful day. it was so liberating yet the next day when i woke up, i found myself being existentially displaced.

have i been living for the sake of studying? i mugged like mad and when A's was finally over i'm being displaced?

the following months were terrible. it's like just stepping into society to work and meeting a whole lot of people and things to learn. the moment i got used to it, the job assignment was up. how one dreads it when u are at it but u so miss it when it's over?

this is profound, i haven't even grasp it myself. why do we not appreciate things when we have it but when it's over, we regret, crying over spilled milk?

how apt.

2 more months and i'll be back as a student. real student. i forgot how it feels like. sometimes i wished i'm a real teacher so that i can continue to teach those classes which i've grown very attached to.

adaptability is important. but let's face it, who wants to be constantly on the move that you are practically a phantom?

i miss charissa. she has been in aust for abt 4 years and i remembered there was a yr that she came back for hols but i wasnt free to meet her. that hurts. she has been my dearest fren eversince i was in sec 1. but we remained firm friends. distance do cause some barriers( and time difference) but it's a test of friendship.

i dunno where this post is leading to.

remembered what ben told me while we were walking to the bus stop. he said relief teaching is good money. hgood money but with responsibility.

i missed the times we spent in msia with the rest of the crew. the late nite gin and bridge, crazy pics we took, mad shopping spree and the bus ride where we were talking whole lot of rubbish, singing so many genres at one shot.

the best of all, things were simpler.

now, they are too complex to be solved. we just have to leave it that way.

Thursday, May 26, 2005
5/26/2005 05:42:00 PM

where can i start?

quite alot of things to say actually so it shall be pretty random.

#1
today's the last official teaching day and it's all madness! running around getting hols assignment(PLEASE DO YOUR WORK!!) and giving them out...phew! mad house.. and i tried to finish everything up...

#2
as last day implies huh? i'm leaving..and it seems like only a few days ago i stepped into the school, ready and excited to teach..then slowly i dreaded it a little..yea, esp when all my frens can wake up later but i had to wake up so early! then came the breeze.. once i got everything done...and now...

#3
i dun exactly know how to describe this feeling..it's like, i see all you students having the potential to do well, but somehow the results doesnt reflect that alot. no matter wad, work hard! it's impt that u dun give up hope... i feel this heavy responsibility to teach and to make sure the things i do in class is not like out of the syllabus kinda thing...

#4
then came doubts...as i've said in the previous post. was a little discouraged dat some students are not appreciative and kinda bad mouthed me on their blogs..hey, blogs are all linked so u better watch wad u say...

#5
but i guess that today i stand here, i look back and i'm happy that some, if not most of u improved..well, slight but hey, still something! that gives me great joy. serious..i feel so happy when i mark ur work and comparing to the previous one, u improved! dat puts a smile on my face, esp when i stay up to mark till late...it's very encouraging..

#6
today's pretty much a special day..this whole week in fact..actually i hardly sing and play my guitar in public..coz i noe my standard but i reallie wanted to share the song with u guys..and i hope dat it's encouraging u to be a great spark!

#7
i'll deinfitely miss teaching..and more importantly, miss all the students... =)

#8
and i'll miss the neighbours around me.. and esp the new nie teachers..ahha..they are a great bunch of enthusiastic teachers....i beesech u guys DUN GIVE THEM TROUBLE! pls do ur work and dun think u can get away yea?i will call up and check..hehehe...*evil laughter*

#9

well, this has been a long post and sigh, kinda tired..would try to update as frequently as possible..cant promis anything though...

#10
i got a maddd thought.... wad if u all see me nxt term but i'm not teaching u? or like i'm still teaching u but diff subjects??

muhahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa........

ps: pics will be up soon... stay tuned..=)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005
5/17/2005 05:25:00 PM

to clear the air.

my dear students,

i'm leaving because ur teacher is coming back.

i'm leaving because my time is up.

i'm leaving because it's time to go.

i'm leaving because i need to go school.

do i hate to leave?

i guess, in a way.

***

was just reading the moe's website. gosh, life's gonna be tough..and i ought not say all these but then...

it aint gonna be easy to get into uni. thank God everything went smoothly for me.

the point is this, they keep changing to suit the changing needs(and demands) of the economy. as a student u may think hey, this is too much! so many changes in the past few years..well, they say life's everchanging isnt it?

anyways, the fact remains, it's getting too pragmatic. and with that, kim cheng preaches escapism from the pragmatism of this place.

hence another place.

with that, i reckon eddie koh would have no more job. he wont have to teach ap soon.

poor kim cheng, no more revenue.

who eats poetry anyway?

fyi: kim cheng is a singaporean poet who went to aust to live. no prize for guessing why. edddie koh is an enthusiastic lit tutor whose passion is incalculated in me.

i love poetry. period.

Thursday, May 12, 2005
5/12/2005 05:46:00 PM

whoa.

disapperared long enough.

was reading some kids' blogs. gosh, they actually hate me!

can't blame, i aint a trainee or professional teacher. i teach to the best of my ability, imitating what eddie koh and dennis yeo did. oh yea, j ho too.

and they are unconventional funky teachers.

apparently some kids prefer the traditional method.

stop looking down at your teachers, you don't know what they have to go through. they don't ask you to do things for nothing. they are trying to help. but some just don't appreciate it!

kenny was laughing at me when we were doing the photo shoot. he said i look too stressed!

gosh, the feeling now is, 10 more days and i'll say my farewell.

till then i'll tell you how i feel.