Simplicity

Friday, March 31, 2006
3/31/2006 10:28:00 PM

i promised i would tell you more about the army guy.

i met him on wed for dinner and we talked. about his life, my life, school, church, ministry, and that brotherhood of his of which i can't seem to stop hanging out with.

it wasn't the first time we talked. but it was the first time we went out together proper. after knowing him for almost 2 years that is.

he gave me an insight to a major decision i need to make soon. that's a huge thing.

the terrible part of our date was the parting. it's weird that he has to book in and i have to go back on my own.

i saw that look on his face. that look which hesitates.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006
3/28/2006 07:28:00 PM

no one said dating an army guy is easy.

you have to work your time around him because you don't know when he's allowed to book out. and he feels bad because you have to cancel your plans because of him.

that's so sad isn't it?

and the worst of all is, he says ok, let's meet at 7pm jurong point, so that he can get back to his army camp by 2359. you can't even go town, you have to go where it's nearest for him to get back to army camp!

then at 12noon, he texted and say, he might not be able to come out. but wait for latest sms. and you cross your fingers and hope that he can get out.

then at 6.15pm, he texted again and apologise coz he can't get out.

and you get disappointed coz you really want to meet him.

awwwwwwww...

and the cycle continues the next day until you get to see him.

i'll tell you more when i DO get to see him.

and since i don't get to see him, we are texting. you need 1000 free sms.

welcome to dating-an-army-guy 101.

Sunday, March 26, 2006
3/26/2006 11:24:00 PM

i can't even begin to say how much i actually miss u.

there are too many things left unsaid, too many things left undone.

if we had the chance, i know we won't start it.

we would take time, long enough to make sure.

that you would call me wife, and i'll call you my lord.

right now, the love has to die before it can bear forth much fruit.

i bury my love for you in the garden of my heart.

do not awaken love until it arises.

3/26/2006 01:59:00 PM

this is a random post.

i just wanna say this and go off coz the brother wants the internet.

i thank God for not allowing me to get attached with an army guy.

if i'm els' girlfriend and i'm going through a tough time, i'll cry coz my boyfriend's not around for me.

no, lah. i'm not that weak.

because i'm not the clingy sort.

but well, thank God i'm not attached to someone in the army. i won't know how to cope with schoolwork, a sad boyfriend in the army who might get paranoid because i'm out studying till late, and of course, all the other responsibilities and commitments i got.

but i'm more than happy to be a listening ear to my army friends.

kk's funny. he msged me and said he missed talk to me suddenly. haha, that makes my day!

okay, i better stop. i'm already missing my army friends.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006
3/22/2006 09:49:00 PM

all right.

here's my 2 cents' worth after the socio lect about religion.

the lecturer said sth abt secularisation. and the apex of it is no religion.

trust me, this will never happen. because we need Jesus no matter what. at the end of the day, materials cannot fill that God-shaped vacuum in our being. wow.

althought alot of people are "secular", i believe that they will come to a point when they need to answer the 3 existential questions. what am i on earth for? what is my purpose here on earth? what will happen to be after i die?

i wouldn't really know how to explain, but i understood and know the answers to these questions. and not just knowing, i want to live these answers out.

so at the end of the day, my conclusion for this lecture.

we need revivial. God must be the Lord over this nation. Every knee must bow and every tongue confess that He is Lord.

wow.

are you tired of thinking and yet not seeing revivial? i am.

Friday, March 17, 2006
3/17/2006 11:32:00 PM

studying with J always makes me motivated, which is good.

but i realised sth about him today.

he's a potential MCP!! touch rugby girls intimidates him. haha. and he ought to be glad i'm not in touch! haha, anyway, gender issues are hard to tackle. if and when i do socio of family, i'll deal with it.

but i'm glad we talked. i realised i dunno him as well as i ought to.

tmr is another day of hard mugging!! i'm almost done with the research. hopefully can finish one essay tmr and start on another one. which it's all in the head, waiting to be penned down. nice.

i think i've been talking so much about essays. for those who don't get what i'm trying to say, each essay'sabout 1500 words so it's quite a big deal, especially we don't usually have homework. just essays, projects and finals. yea, pretty important, esp essays and projects weight quite a fair bit for almost all modules..

i got 6 more weeks till holidays! i know it's gonna fast! wow, i would have finished 2 semesters, that means i'll be year two this coming Aug. so fast!!!

then i'll be year 3, then year4 then nie for a year and i'll become a teacher, full-pledge one that is. all right, then i'll get married. for all intents and purposes, the bar is raised to 26 years old.

last sem, i had the motivation to study coz i get to go philippines after the exams. now i miss the philippines ALOT!!

this sem, i'm motivated because J makes me study real hard! hey, i make him study real hard also ok! heh heh..

go ahead and label me nerd. it's not a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Thursday, March 16, 2006
3/16/2006 02:40:00 PM

for the record, i'm kinda disturbed by the topic i'm suppose to do for my essay. well, i chose it, so now i'm going to probe.

why was yamashita tried in such an unfair manner.

i know what you are going to say, nothing is fair in this world. truly.

well, to put in simple terms, i feel sorry for him. yea, i sympathise with this man who commanded the japanese army that invaded singapore. whatever you wish to call me, traitor or not, the point is we are not objective with regards to things like this. we believe what was said and not bothering, or finding no need to probe further.

what if he's not gulity? in fact, evidence showed he's not guility of the atrocities!

it's amazing. hold your breath, i'm going to show you another parallel.

if i can juxtapose this albiet not so simliar but you'll get my point... general yamashita was seemingly innocent, coz he didn't know what nonsense his army was doing, well, miscommunications and all. and he has to pay for the consequences of their actions.

and Someone else did so also. He didn't do anything to derserve death without trial( at least mr yamashita had a trial albeit unfair.), well, how about death on a cross?

His Name is Jesus, the only One whom you ever need to fill that void in your heart.

okay, if anyone wants to find out more, email me.i'll be more than happy to share.

now, time to do the essay, remembering what Jesus did for me!

Friday, March 10, 2006
3/10/2006 12:02:00 AM

lemme rant a little.

my shoulders are quite stiff now, my eyes are kinda blood-shot and im tired.

i wish i could drift off to sleep but i'm having some probs sleeping. it's the stress. i wish i could go for a run now but it's 12am and my parents won't let their daughter to go run alone at 12am.

no, not even if a boy friend is around.

since i can't sleep, the only thing to do is to do my readings so that i can write my essays but i'm too tired to read yet not tired enough to sleep.

and just now, i had to turn to madness shopping and eating to relieve some of the stress. we shared la mian, plain congee, and fried rice between us at annie's fav cantonese restaurant in town, and of course, mango pudding each. and the nonsense pics of course.

then we went shoppping..... a skirt and a top to make me happy for now. jun would scold me coz i'm spending alot these days.

but seriously, yesterday was good spending at nydc and tcc also.

i need to save for my mp3 player soon. i can't study without music that calms me down and to know the stillness in the storm.

i need to run to sweat all the negative aura inside of me. no more shopping and eating out at expensive places until 2nd may 2006.

but before that, i have to face next week. oh yes, when all of u have march hols, that is my most xoiong week. tutorials plus math test plus 2 essays due.

but in the midst of ALL these, I commit everything to God. God help me because i am weak but You are strong and You hold my world in the palm of Your Hand.

I need grace.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006
3/07/2006 10:52:00 PM

i'm delighted, overjoyed, simply put, in a bliss.

for some strange reason, i have been thinking abt him the last 2 days. and he just have to appear at my lift lobby just now.

hehe... nah, he wasn't looking for me, he was at my neighbour's place and happened to be going home. but i'm happy. it's enough just to see him.

gosh, i do sound like some hopeless lovesick teenager, but i don't care!

i like se's eyes. esp when he wear specs. see? told ya, i like geeky looking guys... i like the studious good boy look.. makes me feel comfortable, secure, as if i could conquer the whole world..

i can't believe i'm saying this but se is my new crush!

oh, i need some distraction in the midst of all the essay brainstorming and writing... and he's my distraction. haha, i feel so alive after seeing him...

actually, se wasn't really my new crush.. i had a crush on him when i was in sec 1! (fancy that!)
so 7 years later, we are at this crush again.. amazing man...he still look the same.. as if time stood still...

wouldn't it be interesting if something is to happen? that wish of mine would be fulfilled...

okay, back to reality, there's still the essay to write..

Sunday, March 05, 2006
3/05/2006 09:52:00 PM

This is a very random post because I'm not supposed to be here now but there's something bugging me.

There are alot of people I met in life. But sadly, you don't always get to meet up with them often or stay in contact for that matter. They are still friends, but somehow it seems so different. And sometimes I like to ask myself, on what basis are these friendships based on?

In college, I'm glad to have 2 different bunch of friends who bothered to stay in contact and meet up often.

I went lunch with quek 3 times and ms k just now. It seems so pw! ms k was saying she never imagined herself hanging out with him after 3 years because he "dao-ed" her during the first day of school. Up to now, she still claim that quek 3 times still "dao" her. Of course, joe joe and ah ben couldn't come because of GUARD DUTY, otherwise it would be a riot!

On Thurs, I'm going to meet the girls + lit tutor. They are the ones who kept me sane during A's. Esp the lit tutor, without him, I think I won't be me now. More than a teacher, he's like a big brother to me. What a friend-teacher!

I can go on to tell you abt my childhood friend whom I've lost contact but appeared after 5 years, the army friend whom I haven't seen for ages, the senior who bothered to keep in contact despite flying in and out of the country, another senior who's 6 years older than I am yet we managed to stay on the same wavelength...

If you ask me, what about your uni friends? I won't say I got none but they are not as close as these people mentioned here. These people kept me sane, let me cry in front of them, didn't mind me looking unglam and so on.

How about those whom i got to know because we are in the same environment?

Maybe out-of-sight= out-of-mind applies in such context.

I treasure friends alot, but I guess sometimes when you close a chapter of your life and move on, you literally move on, leaving those people who were precious to you behind. And because they move on also they seemed to be friendly strangers when you meet up. Whoa, this thought frightens me.

"I need to move on. Although it's hard to accept that I can no longer share common experiences, with you, I pray that all will be well and strong."

But at the end of the day, despite of being reluctant to leave these people who shared laughter, stress, anger, tears and joy together, i thank God our paths met.

Although I feel so displaced, I thank God, because Jesus is my Friend who never leave nor forsake me. Thank You, Lord.

Saturday, March 04, 2006
3/04/2006 12:06:00 AM

i wanted to do my work and had the urge to post something random before i do work.

time doesn't wait for anyone, catch them(what an irony) while you can. don't wait till things/people to pass you by before you learn how to appreciate. say thanks, give a hug, smile and appreciate the moments which are real but will soon be gone.

how do i know?

because i'm missing my uniform days.wait till you get out of that uniform and start fretting over what to wear each morning. ah, then you'll realise what a good idea uniforms are. they sure save 20 mins of my mornings.

appreciate/reminisce these memories but move on.

on a side note, i nust say i was quite hooked to the lawyer show on channel 8. and it's not often i watch chinese shows, and it's not often i get hooked on hk lawyer/doctor kinda show. but i like this one.

and with that, i get back to my essay.